Lauren's Eulogy

There’s a bible story I’ve grown up with but never really paid attention to until I met Lauren. It’s the story where Jesus heals the blind man.

In the book of John:

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. 2And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.

The works of God were displayed in Lauren. I saw God daily as she bloomed. I feel so blessed that I got to be her mother and see her develop into the sunshiny baby she was.

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Things most people did not know about Lauren:

1) she was born “in caul” which means she was brought out of my stomach still inside her bag of water. In some cultures this is a sign of good Luck.

2) Lauren was always measuring smaller on ultrasound than Alex. Lauren is the reason the babies were monitored so closely and delivered because of the great amount of distress they were both in. It is this reason I believe Lauren, in fact, had saved Alex’s life.

3) Lauren and Alex had their first fight last week. Lauren was playing with the long stick( which by the way is the prized toy in the house even though it looks like toysrus exploded) and alex jerked it out of her hands at which point Lauren threw a fit. I had to laugh because that seemed so normal.

4) Lauren loved to be tipped upside down.

5) Lauren loved music. Especially music that was sung to her.

6) Lauren would frequently put the whole pacifier in her mouth.

7) Lauren loved her head rubbed.

8) Alex would see us doing chest PT pn Lauren which involves hitting her back and sides so his most frequent interaction with her would be to pat her as well.

9) Lauren and Alex and I would have story time every night at 6pm. I would read the touch and feel books where Alex would touch a page and then reach over for Lauren hand so she would feel it too.

10) Lauren was a much happier baby than Alex. Lauren rarely fussed.

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This past memorial day weekend I had the best weekend with Lauren. During the 3 day weekend I had only one nursing shift of coverage. During this 3 days I was with her 24/7. We went to the zoo where she loved the penguins and the splash park. in the I also took her to the splash park on Memorial day where she stood in the water for over 10 m ins laughing hysterically at the kids squealing around her. I finally took the twins on walks with their double stroller. Usually I would go right to be when Lauren’s nurse arrived and Lauren would stay up to play. This past weekend, I put her to bed each of her last 3 nights. It was a magical weekend for me.

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People:

Lauren had many special people in her life who I would like to thank for being such a big part. These are amazing women who loved Lauren as much as I did. They were in this with me.

Marie-Marie was with Lauren 5 days a week. She would frequently come in early and stayed late just to be with her. I would call Marie Lauren’s “other mother”. Marie would get just as excited as I would when she learned to sit up or got to eat or started trach trials. Marie took great joy in picking out her clothes every morning. Marie was in this for Lauren.

Carla- Lauren would light up when she heard Carla’s voice. In fact just last week Carla came in at midnight and Lauren was sound asleep. When Lauren heard Carla’s voice she sprang to life and would not go back to sleep until Carla gave her enough attention. In fact, this was one of the rare temper tantrums Lauren had. She wanted Carla to Play even though it was 2am!

Mary- Mary was the nurse who had Lauren during her first night home. Mary was the nurse who started playing “horsie” with Lauren. Lauren would see Mary and just start throwing her body back to “just start the horse” to make sure Mary would play.

I feel sad for all the things I’m losing out on by Lauren’s death. I wanted more than anything to hear her laugh. I’m comforted by the fact she’s laughing now.

My father passed away about 11 years ago. He was the best dad a girl could have had. I know for a fact my father was saved and he was there to meet her. He is giving her the horsie rides and tipping her upside down. She is happy. And I can’t hardly wait to see her again. One day I will understand why Lauren was taken from me so soon. Until that time I will trust that God’s timing is perfect.